One of hardest things that I have ever had to do was put my mother in a rest home. It was a snowy fall day as my brother and I had been chosen to carry out such an awful task. As we loaded her and her stuff up in the car my father decided that he would drive separate as he had some errands to run. As we left we went north to the rest home and my father turned south and never showed up at the rest home. We received a call several days later stating that he could not be with us in putting mom in a home. It was three months later that he came home stating that he just could not face what had to be done.

For a short time my mother was very mad at me and my brother for putting her away as she called it. It was within two months that my mother settled into her new digs and became quite happy. In fact I thought that she was on some happy drug, but not so.

A couple of years later as I was driving her to Chuck-a-Rama for our Friday lunch date I got up my nerve to ask her how she could be so happy when she was living in a rest home where everybody was sick and dying. What she told me was surprising. She told me that at first she was very angry with me for "putting her away" but after a few weeks she realized that it was her turn, as she had to put both of her parents in a rest home. She said to me that at that point she began to change her outlook on life and her hope then changed.

That day as my mother and I chatted about things that really matter I learned that it is hard to believe in the future when we are temporarily just not brave enough to face the present let alone the future. When the tough things happen in life, we must be like the recovering alcoholic and we must learn to survive just one day at a time.

C.R. Snyder who works with children who suffer from debilitating diseases or injuries talked of a nine year old boy who was the victim of a serious accident. This boy had to endure months of strenuous rehabilitation which causes a tremendous amount of pain every day. "How do you bare this?" Snyder asked. The boy responded "I just have one job and that is to just get through the day, and that is not so hard."

Like this child, one must learn to look forward to the beauty of the next moment that life will present you and hang on to it until the next beauty comes along and then the next and the next and so on and on...until our strength grows strong enough to think about tomorrow.

As that special day came to a close with my mother I asked one final question. "Mom, what is that special thought that keeps you going when life seems to kick you down?" She smiled and raised her crippled little finger and said, "I have one thing. But I'm not going to tell you for you must find your one thing that makes you happy.

After my mother passed away I found out what the one thing was. It is so special that I can not share it with you, but this much I can share: I have found my one thing that I hope for.

I wish you good luck in finding yours.


Kent Allen, Founder
Previdence Corporation

Labels: Hope, Love, Perseverance

There is music in the air, our homes are decorated and there is a joyous feeling as we make our way to the office. Everyone we meet seems to have "that holiday feeling" RIGHT? WRONG! The sad part is that every one is not in the festive mood that that the songs and the stories want to portray. For many this holiday season is a sad time, a time that they are missing loved ones lost to death, divorce, the war, or because they or you have chosen to not be home for the season. As we read or watch the news, it is filled with words of despair. A company closes down and 500 people lose their jobs. Another company downsizes and another 2,000 jobs are lost. Yes for many it seems there is no reason for the season. For many, life is full of despair and hopelessness. Many ask why me? Why now?

For some it is a time of joy, of renewal and reflection. For others it is a time of sadness, of memories that we would like to tuck away but they seem to keep coming back.

For the past 20 years my holidays have been spent helping others make it through this time. And for those who have lost hope let me reassure you that there is hope and in the coming weeks I will continue this blog with the hope of reaching out to you and invite others to join in sharing our trials and our successes in overcoming them. In closing let me share an experience that I had just last night.

Three weeks ago a gentleman from our community came home from work to find his wife and children gone, his home was cleaned out except for a note left on the counter. The note informed him that his wife had found someone new and had moved her and the children to a different state to join the new love that she had found on the Internet. To say the least he was devastated and over the past three weeks had sunk in despair to the point that yesterday he was contemplating suicide. By chance his employer happened to call at the right time and as the story unfolded his employer invited him to a Christmas party for his family. I was also invited to that party and as chance would have it I was seated next to this man. I watched as individual after individual approached this man and welcomed him. I watched as a face filled with hopelessness turned to one of acceptance and joy.

We all know that two hours of acceptance will not turn this mans life around, but last night was a beginning. I am sure that as he returned to an empty home he was sad but with the love of his fellow man and new found friends he will survive! And so can you!

Best Wishes,

Kent Allen, Founder
Previdence Corporation

Labels: Holidays, Hope, Love